Throwback-august 2014, miscarriage

The first day of fasting month last year i had spotting.very very tiny spotted and i guessed it was my circle after a year of having Kyla. I did not feel any pain though. Until the 8th day if fasting.i still had the little tiny spot of blood.it was wierd because as far as i remember my circle was like 4 or 5 days. But i went to work as usual until after lunch *i didn't fast as i thought it was menstrual. I felt really hurt at my below tummy and it was not normal. I went to my class but i can't handle the pain anymore.it was really hurt till i can't move.i tried to sleep but i became stronger and stronger. I called Farah to send me to clinic as in my mind it was something normal gastric or anything like that BUT not pregnancy problem.i had not any idea bout that. Until the doctor urged to have a pregnancy test and i was laughing at the moment as i thought impossible. I wa like just a month passed of my 3months depo injection and i thought it was toooo waayy early to get pregnant..*as people says that depo cause you difficult to get pregnant. But ita was damn wrong! Hahahaa.
Or i was so fertile.teehee.so at the clinic, i was really shocked after doc said there was a bun in the oven.hehe. I didn't know how to react as i thought it was early. Then, the real problem came as the doc couldn't see anything in my womb as it supposed to be big enough to see it. Then she suspected me of having ectopic pregnancy! I went to the hospital immediately to make sure of it and it cause me a week stranded in the ward. I don't want to even remember the experience, i wish. I went through a number of vagina checking and it was..urghh..it was wierd as the thrid day in the ward, the docs still can't locate my child..but then they were determine  that I'm not having ectopic so they let me discharged. I remembered i had not feel anything for 3weeks after that until a week after raya. I was spotting again but this time it was pretty heavy compared to the previous. It was becoming more and more blood after that till i have to change.my pad and panties for a few times. But i felt nothing.no pain. But then the next it becoming worsen. My husband sent me to the hospital again and while waiting in the emergency room, then i started to feel hurt at my below tummy. As i was checked. I felt a rush if blood flows down there and the doctor claimed that i was missing my child. At the moment, i cried as i felt guilty of not taking a good care of it. I felt irresponsible. But i have Kyla, at least. If not, I think probably i went crazy.