sapa yang nak basuh?

if its holiday..no work then the battle will start..between me and FM. what battle?who's going to wash Kyla's poop.hahhahaa.. yes.. 

'abang..adik yak..abang basuh'

'alaa...sayang laa..'

'xder2..abang basuh..'

'sayang laa'

ok..fine.

at 9 am..the time for Kyla's bath. 

'abang..mandikan Kyla'

'abang ke?'

'yer..tadi syg dh basuh yak'

'ok..syg gi amik air panas'

'ala...abang yg mandikan..abg la amik'

'nak amik x nak..ok abang amikkan..syg yg mandikan..'

'x nak..ok ok..syg amik air panas'

urghh...

and i know..the battle will go on and on and on..

*Kyla..pls grow up fast..and wash it on your own!please...bhahahhaha.

tragedi susu..

this morning..when it all chaos to get ready to work+to send Kyla to baby sitter (BS)+to prepare her thingy+to hold her so that she will not put up her volume up+to get her daddy's cloth to work ready...THEN i remember i did not get the milk bottles yet. yes i do breast pump and pour it in 3 bottles everyday and give it to Kyla BS. basically the idea is eventhough i went to work she still can have the breast milk. and be healthy. he he.

so i run to the refrigerator and take the bottle full of milk but suddenly i dont know how.. i missed it and it fell on the floor, and crack. then i stepped ahead to take the towel to wipe it but unfortunately i stepped on the slippery milky floor and 'nangka busuk' is me. i thought my FM will shouting and ask what happen but wht i can hear is he happily have a happy talk with Kyla. urgh..

after a while..*still shocked with the tragedy..bhahaha.. en FM ask me wether to put the car seat in front or at the back..i just silent and give him a stress look

"dah kenapa buat muka macam tu?"

silent still-straight to the kitchen..to finish the milk thing..

"sayang..kenapa?" he shouted..

"sayang jatuh..sakit j***" i shouted from the kitchen

"huh?"

"sayang jatuh..sakit j***!!" a lil louder i shout..

he rushed to me and ask if anything bad happen..any injury...

"xder apa..stress je nih.. botol adik kat mana satu lagi?" tanya dalam nada stress..

en FM diam..and he runaway..hahahah..

#milk tragedy

what she can do so far..

Kyla is doing fine nowadays..no cry a lot anymore.i haven't been blogging much lately because its just..i don't know..i wanna say busy but i'm not. with a daughter in one hand it seems like you don't have another hand free anymore. both of them comply to whatsoever to do with Kyla. last few days i notice a new thing about her. she started to fist her palm and bringing it towards her mouth..well done Kyle.and she started giggling. i cant describe how great feeling i have every time i see her big smile with slanting eyes and giggle at the same time. and she like to make a-cute-and-no-one-would-fail-to-love-me faces every time she giggle. look at these pictures.

but she still wakes up every 2 hours every night. you will never let your mummy enjoy her sleep right? crossed to my thought to just bottle feed her but at the end of the day i know i will miss her warm body next really close to mine. i think i will sacrifice my sleep just to have the time with her. motherhood is no joke. but i love her so much.

first day my baby hantar rumah baby sitter

kelam kabut nyer pagi tadi... kene siapkan diri sendiri nk gi keje..suami nk gi keje..dan mektok kyla tu nk gi klinik & baby sitter..apa perasaan mummy kyla?he he he.. xder perasaan.. hantar jer..tapi bila tgk dia atas dukung kak na tu..hurmm...mcm sayu plak. dah la dia sengeh2. dia x paham ke mummy ngn aboh dia nk tinggal dia..huhuhu..tapi at least lepaskan anak first day rumah org dengan hati tenang..baby senyum jer. bagus Kyla nih..tnggu ptg karang plak..gi amik dia..

masuk office dengan hati happy..happy setelah habiskan masa kat rumah jer.. boring sangat..nasib gak layan kyla.kalu x..mau x sampai 40 hari pantang aku dah masuk office..huhu bleh ke gitu..

jadual kelas x der lagi..so untuk minggu nih..kita round2 kampus dl..huk huk

towards the end of my pregnancy..

cukup 35 minggu this week.by next monday..my pregnancy will be fully 9 months.hurmm..how am i feeling? PENAT..nk bangun pagi punya susah..nk bawa perut ke tandas. pasal bangun malam kencing toksah cakap la. memang wajib..2 kali semalaman. nk tunduk?hurmm lupakan laa.. kene duduk dulu..baru leh amik barang..ngantuk memang selalu sebb kita rasa penat kan..so ikut kan hati memang nk tido la..*tgh menaip ni pun dh 2-3 kali menguap. budah kecik dalam perut nih tiap kali bergerak dh makin gagah walaupun x sekerap time 7 bulan..dia dh gemuk kot..x cukup ruang nk berguling2..hehhee.. huh?baby ..boy ke girl? wallahuallam. tima 6 bulan doc cakap gegirl.. semangat aku beli sarung tangan pink..baju minnie mouse.. dah masuk 8 bulan hari tu..gedik2 nk g scan lagi..hehehe.. tgk2 doc bg tahu lelaki plak.. ayaaa.. apa lah nasib semua2 yg pink tu.. xper la..pakai je la dik.. lagipun x sure kan.. mana tahu tiba2 kuar gegirl jugak.. kuasa Allah kan.

tunggu je la.. cuma doa semua selamat.. 

SHE is fine after all

plan tgk wayang malam rabu cancelled.tayangan rock oo x der. xper la..last2 gi check perut lah..jom scan.excited ni ..both of us excited. dalam hati mmg mcm nk anak lelaki. yer laa rasa nak anak lelaki..sebab?entah..rasa macam serasi ngn budak laki compare to girl. *anak sedara lah. xper anyway..dah amik nombor siap..then my turn. i ask my FM to record everything and he did. so when the doctor start doing the scanning ..i can see on the monitor my baby. and she faced to us. i mean towards the scanner. and we could see her face.eventhough its not clear yet but her mouth is there.. moving a lil bit. aaaaa.. can wait to know.

the doctor asked: so nak laki ke pempuan?

me,senyum

abg, senyap

the i said : urmm ikot lah doctor..xper mana2.. (dalam hati..mesti lah lelaki kan..)

doctor: haa tu nampak ..GIRL...

me: huh... pastu sengeh..

xper la doctor apa pun..nampak mcm muka abg lain sket..mesti mcm ingat lelaki jugak..hehehe.. then we drove the car that night..ok, not 'we' ..Kerol drove the car home. and we already can accept the fact that the little one inside my tummy is a girl. happy also what.. ada geng la nnti. 

so definitely KHAEYLA FAIRUZ is the name. hehhee.. KHAYLA or KHAEYLA?

Hadeiff Fairuz or Khaeyla Fairuz

these are the first two names of our favorite. so..i cant wait for him to be home next week and go to the clinic and scan. tak sabar nk pilih baju biru ke pink..cepat laa abg balik..

my baby

that day.. 23rd October..

rasa penat yang teramat..drive from Kijal to Dungun seems to be very tiring.very. i know something is coming because based on the date counted..dah 4 hari lambat period.biasanya memang on time .kalau lambat pun sehari atau dua. dah alang2 memang akan lalu Mesra Mall..aku berhenti dan straight went to Guardian. and searching for pregnancy test. didnt wait too long i just bought it and continue driving. i dont know when i'm going to test it yet. arrived around 720 pm and i asked him to wait for me outside the house. and he did with his towel. then i went to our bedroom and i cried. because i felt soooo tired.memang rasa lemah x bermaya. tengok je aku nangis terus dia gelabah..kenapa kenapa.. i just said..x der apa penat sangat je..penaaat sangattt..he tried to calm me down. the dia gi mandi..pas dia mandi aku amik turn ..masa dia solat maghrib ..sorok2 amik test pregnancy bawa masuk toilet skali..lama gak laa sebelum nk test tu..duk pikir.. arghh ..buat je la. xder rezeki x per..yang penting x nak libatkan dan bagitahu dia lagi..takut abang frust.

test pregnancy yang aku beli rasanya dalam rm 9 kot..x mahal pun tapi rasanya itu yg paling simple.paling x memeningkan kepala..mcm yang dalam gambar tu lah.. in a blink of eyes you will get the result. tengok mula2 samar..pastu makin terang..dua garis! ahh sudah.mcm mana ni..mengandung betul ke..then i start smiling..sengeh2 mcm org gila sorang2 dlam toilet..ok..mandi. masuk je dalam bilik tidur..i saw him besides the bed. aku sengeh2. abang x perasan lagi..then i passed to him the instruction paper. he looked at me.. "mende ni?" i said "bacalah" ok...dia baca..then he make faces again.. "apa ni.." he started to understand but still confuse because i just gave him the instruction..then ... i gave him the pregnancy test..he looked at the lines..and the paper...then the lines again...and the rest is history. hahahahha.. yang tak tahan nyer..dia start guling2 ats lantai tepi katil.dan dan nk bagi tahu mak..ayoo..xleh2..tunggu official result. malam tu gak gi klinik.and the doctor confirmed that i have the little one inside for 4 weeks. Alhamdulillah..his birthday is the next day 24th October and that was my biggest birthday gift to him. thanks to Abang too. he he. 

i'm going to be a mummy!

setelah 4 bulan ..4 bulan berapa hari ek..4 bulan setengah laa lebih kurang ..18weeks..pregnancy, baru nk habaq kat blog..happydan bersyukur..orang kata, anugerah yang paling tak ternilai harga nya adalah rezeki anak. bukan senang nk dapat, hanya dengan kehendak Nya sahaja.alhamdulillah syukur kepada Allah yang memberi rezeki. i think i should tell you my story on how at the first time my opinion about having a baby before we get married.

i think it was like 2 months before our marriage, we discussed about having a baby.*its really weird on how your perception about something can be influenced by a person who is outsider. i had a colleague few months before i got married and she make me think different..different from who i am. she talked about marriage where you have to plan about everything with a consideration of the risk that you will face, which is good. tapi bila membabitkan kepercayaan terhadap pasangan, ia mungkin berbeza. for example, she was the one who said, nk bina rumah, biar tahu sapa yang akan dapat bila akan terjadi apa kat korang..she meant divorce. i dont know how, but what happened was, En FM really shocked and he even said to me,

why are you thinking that way! we are just getting married and you already think about wht will happen if we separated.

 now, right now, i really feel sorry. macam menyesal dan macam x percaya it was from me. it was not me. really.

and she also the one who said, u must plan about having a baby. look at situation whether you are capable to  have a baby right after u got married or you want to wait. she even advise me to go and see doctor and plan. i think that was the reason why i said to my FM that i dont want to have a baby yet until a year after the marriage. he said to me , 

rezeki anak tu dari Allah. kenapa nk tolak. jgn risau pasal rezeki atau duit, setiap anak ada rezeki untuk dia nanti. dan kita pun bukan muda lagi..

i agreed with him in a sense that rezeki will be there for us, but in my thought that time was, i want to spend time with him sepuas hati dulu..baru nk anak. so, for me that time, anak hanya akan jadi penghalang bagi kami untuk habiskan masa bersama.. :( it was another point in my life to regret.

orang cakap, kalau kita cakap apa2 kene pikir 2,3 kali..sebb nnti termakan diri. yes, that was wht happened to me. first month datang bulan lepas kawin, dah rasa macam sedih because i already feel i want a baby! tambah plak en FM selalu duk tanya, dah period belum?dah period belum? kalau cakap dah, he was ok but i know deeply inside he was waiting for a good news.
  takpe..belum rezeki..cuba lagi..

 dua bulan...tiga bulan...i started to feel worry.. hurm.. tu lah duk cakap awal2 x nak anak lg..hurmm...

untuk bulan ke 4, alhamdulillah syukur menggunung..Allah anugerah kan satu berita yang tak ternilai.. im pregnant! alhamdulillah...