MERDEKA MERDEKA MERDEKA

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tarian pendet..Malaysia/Indnesia

inikan isu yang sangat panas dalam 'paper' skang..indonesia ngn malaysia memang laa...selalu nk berebut2 tau...takleh kerberkompromi sket..dalam hal lagu2 heritage ni..xleh laa nk sangka ni lagu kampung aku..nih lagu kampung kau...mana boleh.dah sah kan kita serumpun..kalo x dipecah 2 masa dulu..malaysia ngn indonesia satu negara kot..mcm mana x serupa lagu nya?? kalo orang asalnya pun satu tempat..pening laa..nk sngat nama..dah kenapa indonesia x der nk naikkan nama lagu tuh sebelom nih?bila malaysia wat sbg background lagu promotion baru menggelabah nk ngaku lagu dia laa apa laa...dah x der bukti ...terima jer laa..ini lagu semua...org indon pun berlambak kat mesia...apa kata terima seadanya..x yah nk gaduh..malaysia relaxx jer..x der nk menggelabah.. biar jer si indonesia tuh..mcm apa org ckp..anjing menyalak bukit..x der respon..x berpaedah..:)

one of my bf called...

please be noted that...bf here is just friend and he is a boy..:)) so please dont get the wrong idea. so he (paih) called me just now and we talked about so many things...there's nothing serious,just wanna have a talk. we recalled all the memories in the past..about he, me and few more friends..after i hang up..i just thinking bout something..being in the same circle of life..no change and nothing interesting to update to him..maybe i think its a wake up call for me to do something..to change my job maybe...because i think in this kind of daily life i have... i wont get anything new.just the lame same old thing.i really need to continue my study..i really need that. so this tuesday is going to be the day that i have to submit all the documents that needed to the university. i hope i will be excited to do that because past 2 weeks..i really dont have any mood to do that..eventhough i already apply it online. so the only thing that i have to do is..post all the doc needed...please God...help me..

did u ever think to suicide?

re-think about that please...because..hehhehe it really funny, i read an article, there were 28 cows in SOUSTAL, Switzerland kill themselves by jumping from high slope. dont be 'cowwy' please. its really ashame. kill urself means that..u just like cow!hahahhaha

90 000 people!!

wht a number!! 90 000 Muslim pray Jumaat solah at Al-Aqsa mosque. can u imagine that?? almost 100 000 in a time. wht else we can say?? Islam is great. it is a bless from Allah. and suddenly it came to my mind. we, Malaysian also make that number too. but unfortunately not for the sake of Islam but entertainment. it is reported that THR.fm did an open concert in DUngun Terengganu last month( if i'm not mistaken) and the same number of people came! can i say WOW here??

waiting 24 years?? wow.

when i read kosmo online today, its really enlighten me when i read an article about Andy Lau and his private love life. all his fans already know about his secret affair with a lady from Malaysia..former Miss Malaysia. they reported being married before in Canada in 1992 but Andy refuse t admit it. so its still a secret until now. its make me think, is that true they have an affair, if yes why they should keep it a secret. this is not like 20 years ago when a star cant reveal their status just because of afraid to lose the attraction. fans nowadays already smart and open minded. private life and carrier can be separated but still can be revealed.so, i think Andy can announcing his love to the lucky lady now because i think thats the best thing. she is really great..waiting him for 24 years??wow..u know, waiting is really damn hard to do.

grandma... i miss u..

today...its already 20 days, cant imagin how fast the days past through without her..this is our first ramadhan without her. still remember how excited she was when the ramadhan is coming.she will sit at the corner and enjoy her own food.she will choose her fav food hours before breaking fast time. its usually make us angy because she was like isolated herself from us. the truth is, she want give extra space for us to enjoy the food. to think again..one of the greats abput her is, she always think about someone else. never been self fish. always think that she was only give trouble to my mum to keep her stay with us. in that matter, she never make anything that will make us mad (actually she was the one who always overthink about something). one more thing, she cant stay still..she will definitely find something that can be done , * pluck teh gras, sweep the floor, folding clothes, washing dishes.. i always get angry about this, because i cant stand to see her to do these chores..my sis did give her one Al-Quran especially for her..its really big and the wordings are very clear..and there was no need to her to wear spectacles t recite it. my mum also did ask her not to do any chores and just recite the Quran everymorning *she did follow wht my mum ask but after reciting..again, she will find something to do again..one thing that we regret..she always complaints about her chest pain. its like she was having the difficulties to breath. everytime my mum wanted to go anywhere, she will have the pain...we thought that she just make that up so that my mum will cancelled the plan. this was always make us really mad..but the truth is....the day she died, i was helping the olders to bath her before we wrapped her in white clothes..and we saw her nails getting bluewish..one of the olders said..that was heart problem! so, she actually have minor heart attack! and when we think again, of course she will get nervous if my mum wants to go somewhere because there will be no one who will look after her..so her heart beated fast and she will got the pain (* we are so misunderstand of her! oh God...please forgive us..grandme, please forgive us!) may she rest in peacefull...and may Allah bless her kind soul..Al-fatihah..

beach..

random pic...

i miss myself...

day by day...i'm losing myself..all the things that used to be my 'drug' few years back are fading little by little.and it make me worried sometimes. the music, the concert, the game, movies, travelling...ohh God.. i almost forget the joyful thats once is in this young soul...i need to change something..i think there's something that make me forgetting all this thing..wht is it?me myself dont know it.i'm happy but is not equal with happy that i feel long time ago...aahhhhh..i know..i know...friends...aahh..ok..get it..they are the one who lead me to really enjoy myself and everything i love ..awin, lyn, neyu, wanno, nazreen, balqis, fara,pia, aina, haf, dayang....ohh i miss u guyss...really do..wish can go back to those times..uwaaaa..*crying

my dear Mr. Captain...

if tomorrow never comes..Sometimes late at night.I lie awake and think you might be sleeping.maybe you lost in peaceful dreams.So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark.And the thought crosses my mind.If I never wake up in the morning.Would you ever doubt the way I feel.About you in my heart.If tomorrow never comes.Will you know how much I loved you.Did I try in every way to show you every day.That you're my only one.And if my time on earth were through.And you must face the world without me.Is the love I gave you in the past.Gonna be enough to last.If tomorrow never comes.cause Ive lost loved ones in my life.Who never knew how much I loved them.Now I live with the regret.That my true feelings for them never were revealed.So I madea promise to myself.To say each day how much you means to me.And avoid that circumstance.Where theres no second chance to tell you how I feel
So tell that someone that you love
Just what youre thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

the real thing is..i never can show u my feeling..and i regret it everyday...if i lost u one day.. this regret will be bigger and bigger until the day i die...

being in that hole again...

its really make me thinking that i really dont have any luck nowadays...especially in love matter. why is that happened to me?i really need to figure it out. everytime i feel the feeling...i will be like in a hole..but this time its quite different when i feel that i fall in a well with the stair in it..i can just climb that up and save myself but ...it seems like...i dont want to do that..wht a stupid minn. i really wish that i can escape myself from being trapped in this situation. why is that i cant stop myself from loving that guy? it is beautiful yet useless..we are so damn different..in so many ways...i think every ways.i pray to God to show me the real way..and do make me realize soon if wht i think,feel and act right now is totally wrong. please God who me the right path...i hope i can be determined in wht ever i do. i use to think im determined person but i doubt that now. its like i cant decide anything in this case. or should i just let it be..just let the time decide, wht if it will lead me to some situation where i cant escape myself anymore..like trapped in that situation forever? ohh ...the weird thing that i think now is, i know the ending will be really ugly to me and to him. im afraid i'm not strong as i think i am now. ..arghhh..i dont know ...i just DONT KNOW! i feel like i'm not myself!

still readi eclipse...and not finish yet..

i'm so proud when i can finish 2 book from twilight saga before in just in a few days ..(its a proud moment for a beginner like me)..but for the third book...i still cant finish it even it is already a month. and thats make me realize..i was really busy with all my students and classes...warrghh...i wanna finish it! i wish i can do it by next week!!

long lost friend...

when i was in matriculation centre PJ (uia)i knew Kamal.but we hardly contact each other ..after i got to main campus PJ i never had a time to stay in touch with him.one email a year maybe. but after 8 years..we became friends again...its good.

its tearing up my everything inside..

its really hard to believe that i'll have this kind of situation in real life. i never imagine all these things happened to me. it is more suitable to put it in some soap opera that needed to draggin' on till 86 epi.maybe i should bring my life plot ( so many things happen for someone who only 25 years) to someone, screenwriter maybe and i'm very sure that it can be a huge success. with all the audiences have a whole sympathy for my character!..how can i start to tell you guys out there..last thursday was really a nightmare for me. 2 days later become worsen. my 'guy' who i've been friend a few months ago (but i like him like since i was 14) get married.its really another a shit stuck on my path.and it take a afew days raining to make it cleaned. this is realy scary even for myself to realize that i'm stil normal until today bcause, i went to his wedding ceremony!and ..please god, out of nowhere..he appeared in front of me that day perfectly with his baju melayu that was same color with my baju kurung. dont u think this is really scary!oh my gosh, at this point i really amazed with myself that i barely went through these rediculous situation with no tears..i'm very sure that i looked very normal outside but it was burning inside, until i can feel..everything goes apart. just keep my pray everything single minute that i will free from thinkng bout him. there's nothing left.

kenduri paling menyakitkan hati

semalam ada jemputan kawin yg aku rasa harus/wajiblah dihadiri sebbnya, tuan empunya diri gi jemput sendiri..dia datang bilik office bagi kad..so kami pergi laa 4 org semalam..x per laa,,,aku nk bg detail kang ader budak2 ofis baca post nih...jadik hal plak...kesimpulan nye..di kenduri itulah..kami 4 sekawan tidak dilayan langsung..yang paling menyayat hati..tuan empunya diri tuh x kenal pon aku!!!adushh..ingatkan gi jemput sendiri, ingatlah muka aku..adoi3.dia cakap..'ni yang mana ehh?'..uishhh..rasa nk tikam jer diri sendiri!kami pun pulang dengan kesebalan di hati dan kebengangan di kepala!

kenduri..kenduri..kenduri

this is like the 7th wedding i attended for this week, it normal to have a bunch of invitation when it comes school's holiday here..it is really exciting and irritating at the same time..exciting if the one that married is our closest friends or our sibling.irritating if we just dont know the people but we are forced to attend it for the sake of our parent-obviously i was the one whohave to give a ride to go there!uh-oh. if..note this, the word that i used here 'if'..if i'm getting married someday..i wont choose school holiday!it make people exhausted especially if ours are on the end of the holiday..people just dont have the eagerness anymore!hahha..i said on behalf of myself!

the twilight saga..novel!!

i bought novels for the first time in my life on 29/5/09..'twilight' and 'new moon' by stephenie meyer and it blown my mind. i watched twilight movie and i'm crazy bout that..but now, after i read more than half of the novel 'twilight' (page 381/500 plus2)i acclaimed myself as crazier than ever ..surely i will buy the last two novel of it after this. cant wait to finish this novel and continue for the second one.i cant stop reading it. thnks for aina again for urging me to watch the movie so that i was so excited to buy the books..and it worth!maybe this the beginning for me to start reading books which is the activity i hated most before. i read only when i have examination!for the people out there..try to read this and u'll stuck with it.