grandma... i miss u..

today...its already 20 days, cant imagin how fast the days past through without her..this is our first ramadhan without her. still remember how excited she was when the ramadhan is coming.she will sit at the corner and enjoy her own food.she will choose her fav food hours before breaking fast time. its usually make us angy because she was like isolated herself from us. the truth is, she want give extra space for us to enjoy the food. to think again..one of the greats abput her is, she always think about someone else. never been self fish. always think that she was only give trouble to my mum to keep her stay with us. in that matter, she never make anything that will make us mad (actually she was the one who always overthink about something). one more thing, she cant stay still..she will definitely find something that can be done , * pluck teh gras, sweep the floor, folding clothes, washing dishes.. i always get angry about this, because i cant stand to see her to do these chores..my sis did give her one Al-Quran especially for her..its really big and the wordings are very clear..and there was no need to her to wear spectacles t recite it. my mum also did ask her not to do any chores and just recite the Quran everymorning *she did follow wht my mum ask but after reciting..again, she will find something to do again..one thing that we regret..she always complaints about her chest pain. its like she was having the difficulties to breath. everytime my mum wanted to go anywhere, she will have the pain...we thought that she just make that up so that my mum will cancelled the plan. this was always make us really mad..but the truth is....the day she died, i was helping the olders to bath her before we wrapped her in white clothes..and we saw her nails getting bluewish..one of the olders said..that was heart problem! so, she actually have minor heart attack! and when we think again, of course she will get nervous if my mum wants to go somewhere because there will be no one who will look after her..so her heart beated fast and she will got the pain (* we are so misunderstand of her! oh God...please forgive us..grandme, please forgive us!) may she rest in peacefull...and may Allah bless her kind soul..Al-fatihah..